honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
