Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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