There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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