Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I wish you could order shots online.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
