He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
