rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
