I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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