just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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