There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
