I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Oh god it's open bar.
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