Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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