I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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