gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
