my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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