garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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