suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
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oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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