I can text with my tongue
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
