please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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