Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I forgot wine drunk hurts
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
