just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
