none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
