my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
