My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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