i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
