once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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