I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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