Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Text me some of your sweat
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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