I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I have feelings that need drinking.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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