I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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