Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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