Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
