it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
