just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
People in love make me want to vomit
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
