Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
