Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
