Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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