Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i drank out of a bidet.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You're a waste of cheezeits
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Is Oprah even human
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
