I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
