So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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