If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize
