We're like a lot better than the average bears
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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