So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
