i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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