dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
