so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
