only if we run a train.
done.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my shit smells like andre
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
