grandma shit on top of the toilet
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize