I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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