her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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