why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
