lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
