No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he was CRYING into my vagina
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
