4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize