worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
