oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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