yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
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Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
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We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize