We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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