just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
