I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
